Thursday, November 26, 2009

Leaving on a jet plane.....

On the eve of flying out, I find myself feeling a whole bag of mixed emotions.

Funny isn't it, when you start fantasising about something (time out away for myself) and then that fantasy becomes a reality, you become unsure that you want the fantasy anyway.

Now I sound like an ungrateful wretch. Great. Now I have guilt!

I mean my darling, hardworking husband is basically saying this.....

and rewarding me with something I thought would probably never happen, and I find myself having a little freak out, thinking this......


Part of me really wishes Nev and the kids were coming with me, but I guess that kind of defeats the purpose of all this.

And I think they need a break from me too - it's probably been quite a hard year on them as well, with all the things I've been going through.

It will be good for them to spend some time together - Nev is just so much more relaxed and patient with them and just plain old good fun. I find it quite hard to balance the role of Mum/teacher and "good times Mum". Something I hope will more naturally blend together the longer I homeschool them.

I know my family is really looking forward to seeing me, and as a friend told me today - "this will be so good for you, to just go and be a sister and a daughter again".

True. There aren't many opportunities to feel like this when you are so far away from your family.

I know I will probably spend a lot of time wondering what is happening back here, and missing them like crazy, but I pray that this time away will indeed re-energise me.

I pray that I will come home grateful that God has put me in this beautiful place with this family that I love so much.

And I pray that I will hold my head high as I return wearing the crown of the reigning "Singstar Champion".....

3 comments:

Jordan said...

Heheh, come visit us in Dubvegas and I'll take you on in Singstar!

Saminda said...

You'll miss everyone like crazy and worry yourself for the first 24 hours... and after that you'll relax and enjoy yourself!! :)
Enjoy every minute my friend, relax, breathe and have FUN!! Can't wait to hear the report and see pictures of your great adventure.
No guilt, pleeease!! You deserve this little break.
Love you! Min xoxo

naughtynanna said...

bah ha ha ha ha ha the singstar crown remains in Adelaide.....