It appears that I am not coping well with life.
I am stressed, anxious, tired, and emotional, and apparantly as it's been nearly 12 months since leaving Qld, this behaviour is not normal!
Or so the counsellor at Ellie's school tells me.
Pshaw........what would she know?
She doesn't know me.
How can she possibly label me "not normal"!!
It's a bit of a long story so I'll just fill in the basics - Ellie had been having a little bit of difficulty with some of the boys in her class - so I headed off to school to have a word with the teacher about this. I should never have approached her on this particular morning as I was hormonal and exhausted (not to mention freezing) and I basically opened my mouth and burst into tears.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am very good at crying. Crying can often be my first response to any number of situations.
I don't think it is by any means abnormal, it's just how I deal with stuff.
But it obviously raised the alarm bells with Ellie's teacher as an appointment with the schools' counsellor was made and before I knew it, I was sitting at a desk in her room crying too.
By this time, I had a major headache and ten minutes before I had to pull a 7 hour shift at work.
Needless to say, it was not a good day and by the end of it, I was convinced there was something wrong with me - after all, anybody else in the world who had been through what I've been through in the last eight months or so - moved interstate and left behind some wonderful friends, turned 40, worked every day for the last six days in their first job for ten years, settled their children into a new school after homeschooling them for two years, putting together a small business etc etc - would be bouncy and cheerful, every second of every day and never, ever have a small melt down over something so little as their daughter being teased at school........
To combat all of this, the next day (a day off for me) Nev took me out for a long walk and then out for lunch at a cafe.
It was so good.
We talked. We ate. We slowed down for a while.
It felt good.
It felt......well, normal.
4 comments:
Thinking of you Helen :D I've been known to do that - cry if there's confrontation or I have to deal directly with something sensitive. It's about the only time I really damn well cry, the rest of the time I stew :P Everything needs context doesn't it. And you and Nev can see it and even if others don't it does not matter. Make Nev your therapist because it sure sounds like after all the brave and tremendous things you guys have done, the partners in it all are the best at loving each other through thick and thin and I know which therapy session I'd pick. No brainer really isn't it. It sucks being a girl sometimes doesn't it - two weeks of happy, happy, joy, joy, and two weeks of cranky, snappy, hormonal misery - oh yeh, it's fun. I would have cried right along with you. And noone else can see the 'everything' that you do either that can leave us so tired, run down and exhausted. I've been thinking of you Helen and I'm glad to see you pop back up online. I really hope Ellie's probs with the boys smooth out soon or she can do what I did in primary, smack them over the head with her bike helmet, look malevolently justified and then run!!!! Love JM:)
Aaah Jane - thanks so much for that!!!! You made me cry again, and rofl (is that right???) Actually it all worked out in the end - we all got apology letters from the boys and Ellie's class had a sit down discussion about unacceptable behaviour etc - but just between you and me, it might have been a whole lot easier if she had just whacked them with her bike helmet.
my sweet friend, so wish i could hug the blues away for you. But you probably don't want my flu thing, so I'll give virtual hugs instead. Miss you a lot, but know that time and space cannot destroy a friendship based in heaven.
Eek, what a day! :(
You're a super strong woman - and don't you forget that for one minute. Sending hugs... xo
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