Saturday, April 16, 2016

Things are not the same......

I've noticed this. Stuff changes.

Of course, the old adage "some things never change" also remains true, but on the whole, I'd have to say........well, it's all very confusing.

This thing called life. Not sure I'm up to it.

This musing has all come about because of another one of my dreams. Just this morning in my half awake/half desperately clinging to those last morsels of sleep while the dog is nudging me wanting a walk/breakfast/play time.

I was in a room - I think it was one of those removable cabins at a caravan park - and I had just cleared up all the children's suitcases and pushed them against the wall so we could all have tea together.

There were a lot of children running in and out as well as a dog called "Rusty" that I had apparently rescued from somewhere.

All my old friends seemed to be there and they were all sharing stories about how many things they had accomplished recently - one family had excelled at learning guitar and were now teaching small children to become guitar virtuosos. Another family had been travelling all over the place with their children in a bus together.

And what did I do? I got up and did the dishes and started telling people that I wasn't sure where I fit in anymore. Wasn't sure if I even like myself, whether I was worth liking and was sure as anything that God didn't like me anymore.


I don't think I like the part where my dreams bring out what's going on inside of me and I have to acknowledge it and do something about it.

Mind you, there's one easy thing to change in all of that. I'm getting a dishwasher installed in that cabin so I can sit down and eat cheese and drink red wine and talk to my friends.

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