I stared at him open-mouthed. Seriously? After all I've just told you, that's your professional opinion. You spent three hundred years at college studying and practicing your illegible scrawl, and that's all you have to say?
OK. So I don't like going to the Doctor's at the best of times. I hate the waiting rooms - waiting to pick up some horrible virus from one of the other patients, watching the other patients in their various stages of infirmness (? is that a word) - waiting to die really. Least that's how it makes me feel.
To actually go to the Dr's is a bit of a monumental occasion for me. I put it off. I avoid it. I procrastinate terribly. Sometimes I think I'd rather be sick than go. Actually, most times.
Well, I have been putting it off for far too long. I have been talking myself into it for about......hmmmm....two years now. My sister put an end to it all. "Stop being an idiot, and just go," she said lovingly.
So I sat down and wrote out a list of things I wanted to ask the Dr.
1. I'm tired all the time.
2. I get a really sharp pain in my elbow.
3. My knee feels twisted.
4. My heel hurts.
5. I have a lump in my leg that seems to be getting bigger.
6. I don't sleep.
7. My father is diabetic, I want blood sugar levels checked.
8. etc. etc.
I realise that I am not as young as I have been, and certainly my physical self cannot keep up with my mental self (I am in fact 21, thin, and an athlete......hahahahahahaha), but surely this cannot be the reason for all these complaints. If it is, I quit!
So silly me. I thought after all my effort in making a list and actually coming to see him, the Dr. would at least listen to me, and think quite seriously about what could be ailing me. I actually thought he would take time to talk about my issues with me and suggest things that we could do to perhaps.....oh, I don't know......fix them??? After all, isn't that what Dr's. do?!
"How many cups of tea or coffee do you drink in a day", he asked. "About 4 or 5," I offhandedly answered, not thinking for a moment that this was a major issue. "Well, you'll have to give that up won't you," he said.
I stared at him open-mouthed etc etc.
So there you go. That's it then. You may as well shoot me now. I don't have any other vices left.