Sunday, September 13, 2009

Diary of a puppy.....

4.30am - got bored. Climbed up and fell off the air conditioning unit. Woke up primary caregiver. She was not happy, but put me to bed with my favourite teddy. She's such a sook.
6.10am - smaller humans came rushing down the stairs. Happy to see me. I was happy to see them. Licked thoroughly.
6.45am - Primary caregiver returned from her walk (without me!!!) and I asked her for a rib eye steak. Got sachet of Pedigree puppy mush. Pink, smelled OK. Ate it all. Asked for more. Ignored.
6.50-7.30 - furiously shook sock, teddy, primary caregivers' bathrobe belt, tea towel, face washer etc.
7.31 - 8.15 - napped on my back.
8.15 - 9.45 - napped on my front, head under couch.
9.45 - 10.15 - chased smaller humans and a flat round thing around the garden. Amused them by pouncing on things. Humans definitely lower life form.
10.20 - 11.30 - exhausted.
11.30 - 12.00 - sniffed stuff.
12.15 - welcomed home other human. Sniffed his crotch inappropriately and then looked cute.
12.30 - 1.10 - alternatively sniffed things and ran up and down the hall.
1.15 - 2.00 - napped in the computer chair. Lucky I'm so cute.
2.15 - demanded another rib eye steak. Got handful of dry puppy biscuits! Not happy. Poohed under the washing line. Heh heh.
2.30 - primary caregiver stuck small yellow tablet under my tongue and tried to make me swallow it. Spat it back out. She put it back in, I held it in for a minute so she thought she'd won, and then spat it back out again. She put it back in. I spat it back out. etc until she got wise, shoved it down my throat and held my mouth shut. Not happy.
2.45 - 5ish - exhausted.
5.30 - tried the whole rib eye fillet routine again. Got another handful of dry biscuits and a chewy thing. Was indignant, but ate it all anyway.
6.00 - took teddy for a spin around the garden with small frantic humans. Watched them jump up and down on big blue thing. Napped.
6.30 - watched the humans eat something which smelled delicious. Was not eye fillet, or pink from a sachet. Looked really cute and sniffed a lot. Didn't get any.
7.00 - slept upside down with feet up on the couch.
7.30 - put outside with teddy and covered with a blanket. Suckers.


Theresa said...

Oh Dash, I wish you lived here in Adelaide. There is a place called "The Woofery" I would take you their every week (when I go for a walk) and you can pick any gourmet dog treat you like, while I sit and have a coke and read the paper (that later I will give to you to shred).

Until then, you will have to settle for the primary caregiver's boring old dog biscuits:( or she could google for some dog treat recipes she can bake herself.

Good Luck Dash... you will need it if primary caregiver is cooking:)

Saminda said...

hehe to Teresa's comment!!! :)
helen, this was utterly hilarious- keep working on those book ideas, it's bound to be a bestseller!!!
And hey look, a few hours later and you've already got 5 followers! What'd I tell you? Thanks so much for the tea and chat and play this morning- we all had a great time and will (hopefully) sleep well tonight!!

jennaruby said...

ohh he sounds cute! :D