I didn't blog at all last week. Couldn't think of anything worth blogging about. (Doesn't that sound horrible - even as I wrote it, I thought 'you miserable old cow') but the truth of the matter is that was how I felt last week. It was all completely irrational of course, but then rational doesn't go well with over-tired, hormonal and emotional does it?!
I felt completely isolated from my friends, had trouble connecting with Nev, and felt like nothing more than an overworked, underpaid nanny, cook and cleaner. Not to mention that the stupid cyclone didn't eventuate into anything other than boring winter-like weather. Nev and I got so excited about the prospect of living in the storage cupboard under our stairs, cooking little tins of baked beans over the gas stove etc -only to be let down yet again. I know that we should in fact, be very grateful that it didn't happen, but we have prepared for at least three cyclones that have never happened, and quite frankly, I'm over it.
It was also a week of questioning many things in my life - who am I and what is it that I really like to do? Have we made some serious mistakes in the way we have raised our children? Do I really need another glass of wine? Does this circus tent make my bottom more obvious? Do I really want to go back to our church? Why hasn't Nev noticed that I need new PJ's. Why does dial-up take so long? etc etc. The list goes on.
No hard and fast answers came - but a thought came to me last night as I contemplated a new week (Karen's hubby Drew is responsible for this thought) "Just cowboy up and get on with it!"
If life looks a little bit too much like having to ride a mad cow without a saddle, well so what, just get on and do it anyway.